


Brunettes Against the World

by meowloudly15



Category: The Loud House (Cartoon)
Genre: Bad Puns, Bonding, Family, Fluff, Gen, Hair colour as a plot point, Humour, Mockery of legalese, Probably the cutest thing I've written in months, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 20:27:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20031838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowloudly15/pseuds/meowloudly15
Summary: Three girls make plots about their respective bids for fame. One-shot. Fluffy. Rather ridiculous.





	Brunettes Against the World

“You know, we’re all gonna be famous some day.”

Lynn smiled as she looked at her elder sisters.

“What makes you say that?” asked Luan.

“We’ve all got a dream, and we’re all sure as heck not giving up on it.”

Luna pumped her fist and grinned. “Dang right, dudes!”

Luan chuckled. “I’m not giving up comedy again. I mean, all the world’s a stage, so…”

“...you better get the show on,” finished Lynn.

“And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting sta-ars break the mo-old!” sang Luna.

The three teenagers laughed.

Lynn upturned her palms. “And hey, even if it’s only one of us who makes it, I’ll be sure to use my prestige to endorse you guys!”

Luna shook her head. “Don’t be so sure that you’ll be the only one of us to succeed.”

“Yeah, don’t get a-HEADER of yourself!” Luan laughed. Her sisters didn’t chime in.

“Get it? Because Lynn plays soccer, and there are headers in soccer… and, uh, baseball has double-headers…” She frowned. “Never mind.”

“Not your best work, bro,” commented Luna.

Luan simply shrugged.

Lynn raised her finger. “Okay, let me rephrase that. Whichever one of us succeeds, no matter who it might be, that one had better help the others to get famous, too.”

Luna spoke up. “Let’s make it official! Let’s make a pact!”

Lynn pulled out her pocketknife and opened it up. “Yeah! Blood sisters! Blood sisters!”

Luan winced and snatched the knife away from her eager sister. “No.”

“Come on!”

“Nah, nah, no blood-mixing. We’re gonna sign a binding contract for this.” Luna climbed down from her bunk and grabbed a notebook and pencil from her desk.

“Luna, are you A-POSITIVE that this is a good idea?” asked Luan. She laughed.

Luna held the tip of her pencil over the notebook. “Shaddup. Okay, how do you make a binding contract?”

“I dunno, just use complicated outdated lawyer words, like heretofore and thereinafter and forsooth and stuff,” replied Lynn.

“Yeah, and make sure it sounds LAW-some!” Luan laughed again.

Luna ignored her and started to write, dictating her words as she did so. “Okay… ‘This singular paper constitutes a binding contract amongst Luna Joan Loud, Luan Olivia Loud, and Lynn Anne Loud, Jr., heretoafter referred to as…’ uh, what do we all have in common?”

“We’re sisters,” commented Luan.

“Too obvious. What else?”

“We’re teenagers?” mentioned Lynn.

“That’s not gonna stay true forever, so hard pass.”

Lynn tried again. “Uh, we’ve all got the same last name?”

Luna facepalmed. “No.”

“We’re brunettes!” piped up Luan.

Luna’s face brightened. “That’s it! All right, let’s continue… ‘...heretoafter referred to as “THE BRUNETTES”. THE BRUNETTES agree that their ultimate end goal is the achieval of fame and fortune in their respective areas of focus, and that said fame and fortune ought to be shared betwixt all members of THE BRUNETTES.’ How’s that sound so far, dudes?”

“Sounds like a plan,” replied Lynn. Luan nodded in agreement.

“Let’s keep going. ‘THE BRUNETTES therefore thereby agree to, if one or more members of said group do not achieve fame and fortune despite their best attempts, leverage their own fame and fortune in order to endorse and thereby distribute fame and fortune to said person(s) who have not achieved fame and fortune despite their best attempts.’”

“Slightly depressing-sounding, but let’s go with that,” commented Luan.

Luna nodded. “Geez, writing like this sucks. But let’s finish. ‘Therefore, THE BRUNETTES verify the legality and bindingness of this binding contract and have affixed their signatures below such that they might remember the bonds of family and support each other because of said bonds.’ And we’ll sign below.” She set down the notebook.

Lynn stood up. “I wanna sign first! I wanna sign first!”

Luna gestured for her to proceed. She wrote her name in big, blocky capital letters, using a blue pen that was lying on the desk.

Luan followed suit. She signed in neat cursive with the blue pen, adding a small flower in place of a dot above the Is in her middle name.

Luna took the pen and signed with an illegible scrawl that vaguely resembled words. She turned to her sisters and grinned. “All right! That’s a deal! I’ll get this photocopied at school tomorrow so you can each get a copy.”

“Don’t lose that paper!” commented Luan. “Otherwise, you’d end up in a BIND!” She laughed. So did Luna and Lynn.

Luna rapped her shoe on the dresser and stood like a drill sergeant. She enacted her best impression of Lori. “All right, Louds! Now that you’ve all literally signed this document, you’re literally indebted to us all! And you’ve literally sold your souls for the sake of this document!”

Lynn smacked her fist into her free hand and scowled. “Whaddya mean, we’ve sold our souls?”

“Didn’t you literally read the fine print?”

Luan waved her hands. “Woah, woah, relax, Lori!”

Luna continued, stifling her giggles, “I will not literally relax! I can’t relax because you guys have to literally make me famous now!”

“We’re not making you famous! You’re blond, and we’re brunettes! You’re not part of our legal contract group!” yelled Lynn.

“Order in the court! Order in the court!” Luna yelled before finally breaking down in laughter. She doubled over and fell backwards into the beanbag chair.

Lynn rushed over and gave the aspiring rockstar a noogie. “Down with the blondes! Down with the blondes!”

Luan cheered her on. “We didn’t make a BLONDE with you!”

“Oh no!” said Luna. Her impression started to give way. “The blondes aren’t gonna be famous! This is bad!”

“Brunettes are the best!” yelled Luan.

“Yeah, what she said!” yelled Lynn, keeping Luna in a headlock. “Say it!”

“Nooo!” complained Luna, slipping back into her Lori impression.

“Say it!”

“But what about the other blondes? They’ll rise up and take you down!”

“Say it!”

Luna rolled her eyes and laughed. “Brunettes are the best!”

“Darn right we are!” Luan pulled off one of Luna’s boots and started tickling her foot. Luna kicked her sister in the gut, and she fell backwards.

“And you blondes will never rise up! You know why?” shouted Lynn.

“Why’s that?”

“Because we’re united! We’re united against everyone! Brunettes against the world!”

Luan picked up the chant. “Brunettes against the world! Brunettes against the world!”

Lynn let go of Luna, and they all joined in the chant. “Brunettes against the world! Brunettes against the world! Brunettes against the world! Brunettes against th-”

“For the love of Pythagoras, decrease your volume!” yelled Lisa from her room.

The girls all shut up.

“Hey wait, Lisa’s a brunette,” remarked Luan. She yelled over, “Hey, Lisa! Wanna join us in our unity of brunettes? Our BRUNITY?”

“No. It’s 10 in the evening, so let us all sleep!”

The girls looked at each other. For no apparent reason, they burst into laughter.

“We’ll get her tomorrow, just you wait!” said Lynn.

Luna waved her hands back and forth. “Yeah, we will, but first, we gottta get a good night’s sleep. So hunker down, guys.”

* * *

_ Ten Years Later _

“Mrs. Loud, Ms. Loud, Mrs. Ortega, one final question for all three of you,” said Connie Jarson from her desk. “You’ve all achieved so many great things. Mrs. Loud, you’re both the youngest recipient of a Grammy Award for Album of the Year and the first openly gay winner, thanks to your debut album  _ Eclipse _ . Ms. Loud, you’ve made a wonderful start for yourself in standup comedy and have broken into some terrific acting roles, including the reboot of  _ What’s Up, Doc? _ and some sketches in  _ Friday Night Live _ . And Mrs. Ortega, you’re the first person to ever play on two different professional sports teams simultaneously and to get MVP awards in both leagues.

“My question is this: what inspired all three of you sisters to greatness?”

Luan raised her hand. “I think I can answer for all three of us, ma’am. It was each other.”

Connie leaned forward in her chair, intrigued. “Could you elaborate?”

Luna leaned forward in her own seat. “Sure! Y’see, we all inspired each other. We’ve had these dreams of being great for years and years. I always knew I wanted to be a rock star. Luan always knew she wanted to be a comedian. Lynn always knew she wanted to be an athlete. And we wanted to help each other out, because that’s what sisters do. We look out for each other.”

Lynn piped up, “Right, right! And remember that contract we made, what was it, ten years ago? Yeah, we wrote up this fake binding contract of sorts, saying that if one of us got famous, she’d have to help the rest of us achieve our goals and stuff. And that’s what we did.”

Luan joined in. “Yeah, I talked to an agent who was a friend of a friend of a coworker about Lynn. And I tried to get Luna’s songs in  _ What’s Up, Doc? _ But they wouldn’t take them, which was a shame.”

Luna added, “And I asked to play at a couple of Lynn’s tournaments, just for kicks. Also, I chatted with a couple clubs that I frequent, to see if they’d have Luan perform there.”

“I made one of Luna’s songs into my walkup song, and I talked with Luan about the more amusing incidents in the locker rooms so she’d have material,” said Lynn.

Connie smiled. “Very interesting! But you’ve said before that there are eleven siblings total in your family. Haven’t they all supported you?”

Luan laughed. “Of course they have! They always cheer the loudest at our shows. But none of the rest of them are really on the same track as us. We’ve got that one thing to unite us: a hunt for fame and fortune.”

Lynn elbowed her sister. “And we’re brunettes.”

Luna threw up the goats. “Dang right we are! Brunettes against the world!”

The three young ladies laughed.

Connie turned back to the camera. “Well, that’s all for now. Thank you for joining us and listening to three remarkable young women tell their stories. We expect nothing but the best to come from them in the future!”

**Author's Note:**

> I love the Luna/Luan/Lynn BrOT3, and I hope this story makes it clear as to why I do.
> 
> Stay tuned for more random stories and a big upcoming project!


End file.
